Parenting Advice on discussing fun and happiness with your teens

The difference between fun and happiness:

Fun is temporal feelings, and happiness is a state of being.  All feelings are temporary, but a state of being isn’t temporary.

God is a state of being, not a being.  I asked some teenage students to address these issues and words and here is what they shared with me:

Harmless Fun

Usually harmless fun is ride on a roller coaster, an ice cream sundae, a balloon ride, hang gliding, cotton candy, miniature golf, bowling, skiing, snow boarding, chocolate, a movie matinee, go-carting, sky-diving, video games, and a new cell phone, anything new.   When it is over, the fun is over. We laugh and smile and go on.  Once in a rare while, things don’t go right, and someone dies from fun.

Risky Fun

Risky fun is a jump off of an overpass into a creek, driving doughnuts down the avenue, under-age drinking, experimenting with drugs, binge drinking, promiscuous sex, teasing someone, practical jokes, smoking cigarettes, taking a dare, playing on railroad tracks. When it is over, if you are lucky and no one gets hurt or dies, the fun is over.  People frequently die from this kind of fun. Over a period of almost 40 years, I have attended more than few funerals for students who “died of having fun”.   It becomes not funny, and we go on.

Happiness

Happiness is a great book, sitting around a campfire or fire place, dancing, pushing a child on a swing, being a child on a swing, walking on the beach, chilling and being with your friends and families, a hot cup of tea, a 3 month lab puppy, baby chicks, a first grandchild, all other grandchildren, a 90 year old couple dressed-up walking down the street holding hands, receiving a thank you card, writing a thank you card,  clouds, sunsets, sunrises, a day off,  playing with a kitten, family dinners, flying a kites, skipping rocks on a pristine lake, playing a table game, a hike, a walk.

People rarely die from happiness.

There is fantastic book called, Wise Highs: How to Thrill, Chill, & Get Away from It All Without Alcohol or Other Drugs [Paperback] Alex J. Packer Ph.D. (Author)

He includes lots of activities for kids and teens that are edgy but generally safe. 

Share it with your kids, their parents, your friends.  Make your own list of “wise highs” and “dumb highs”.

We have many chances to have fun, happiness, thrills and adventures.  We have one life, one body and we need it to have those experiences.  Knowing the difference between fun and happiness, risk and adventure makes a life longer!