New School Year, New Story–Help in Parenting Teens-Part 1

We are on the cusp of a new school year. Whether you are parenting a teen, pre-teen or younger child, or for that matter a “young adult” here is some parenting help for you.

New clothes, new binder, new hair-do, new look, new phone, new classes, new teachers, and on and on…..The theme of “new” comes up more and more as we approach the academic “d-day”.

So why not a “new story” too!   By a new story, I mean that each year, whether we continue at the same school, graduate or move to a new school, or move to a new area altogether, we start a new chapter in the story that is our life. In that “new story” we can give voice and intention to new ways that we want to be.

For example, let’s say last year your child was always late to class, or procrastinated homework, or had “no real friends”, or chatted during class, or lost his/her homework, or had a messy pack, or didn’t care about school.  Self-deprecating stories sustain low self esteem.  When the student returns to school, his/her pesky habits and negative traits have been half forgotten by teachers and other students laying dormant for the summer.  Now is the opportunity to change them.

When  the student returns to school he/she can either renew and reaffirm those old stories, or choose to bring a whole new story.  A new story is of course an intention, and one that must be followed up by action.  New stories will surprise your child’s friends and delight his or her teachers.

Granted, the new stories we dream for ourselves have to be lived.   A great writer, Harvey Mckay  once said, “A dream is just a dream; a goal is a dream with a plan and a deadline.”  So come up with your list (not too many at first), voice your goals as affirmations, make a plan for how you will get the help you need to attain them, and when you want to accomplish that goal by.

Here are some examples for parenting teens:  Negative Stories turned to Positive Stories,  and the instructions for creating and living your new story. (By the way it works for adults also)

Each of our lives is a story, divided up into episodes, long, short and exciting.  Sometimes we have to wait for the results.  We are part of that story, and so is everyone who we know and love, and even some that we don’t love.  We get to change the plot, the theme and the storyline whenever we want.

Don’t forget, destiny is funny thing.  Until it happens, it is unpredictable, partially under our control and partially not under our control.  We have many choices and trajectories and we get to be the pilot of our own life.  The funny part is, once it has happened, we can look back and in fact call it our “destiny”!

Rick Concoff c 2012