Parenting Your Teens and Media-Part 1

Children and teens will always be attracted to the latest version of media, chomping at the bit to own the newest version of the newest gadget.

The striving for connection in a busy high-speed society births a strong urge for mediums to do so. To resist and try to block it is an ultimately futile endeavor.  To give children and teens license and unrestricted access, and ignore the pitfalls is neglectful.  The question is not whether we will “allow” a child exposure to a given stimulus, but when.  That however becomes more and more difficult with the media saturation of our lives.  It is easy to blame media for the ills of our society and the habits of our children.  We have villanized entities which have no inherent moral ills for centuries, and it has rarely worked.

Our children will make choices and are making choices about every stimulus that comes to them.

They are likely to engage in the same technology and media that we participate in, and more.  The paramount question is how we give them the tools to manage and be master of their own will.  The freedoms we give them for self-management must be contingent upon their abilities to moderate.

My experience in teaching and raising children tells me that the most potentially successful path includes the following key points:

1.  It is essential to acknowledge that child development, beginning with birth is a gradual process of “waking up”, which hopefully, goes on for an entire lifetime.  Certain stimulus and input are appropriate for difference stages of development, or “awakeness”.    This waking up has its own timetable.  Bringing stimulus prematurely to a child can be disruptive.  Imagine coming up to a budding rose, peeling the premature petals back and forcing it open.  The rose would never blossom. Likewise forcing a rose that is ready to bloom to stay in tact as a bud would be limiting and futile.

1.  We all know that there are discussions we can have with our children that are eye-opening and enlightening.  We also know a premature discussion will go over the child’s head.  We wouldn’t discuss the aspects of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict with a 5 year old, and we would not withhold a parent’s serious illness from a 12 year old.

 Rick Concoff c 2012