When Things are Bad and you Have a Challenge

When things are bad or you have a challenge or even just a bad day you might tell yourself that it could always be worse.  Look for the silver linings.

Try this exercise:

Make a list of all the items that are silver linings and gifts from your challenge. It may seem silly. It may seem fruitless. It may be hard.

Simply state your challenge and all of the challenges it creates and all of the challenges that are created by the challenges that it creates. Describe how you feel about it. Cry, if you need to, or if you haven’t in a long time. It feels good afterwards.

Here’s how I did it!

State your challenge out loud:

“I have a right hand that will not open up by itself due to arthritic issues in my neck which are impinging on my nerves.  I cannot use my right hand. I have to ask people for help. I cannot do simple things like tying my shoes, shaving, turning a key, using a fork, cutting my food, or writing with a pen.  It is hard if not impossible to type at the speed I’m used to.  I am having major surgery in hopes of correcting it.

Then make a list of the “silver linings”.  The thoughts may come one at a time, so take an hour or even a whole day to make it.  Make it ongoing. Take your time.

I have a left-hand.

I have discovered I can learn to be ambidextrous.

I have empathy for people who are missing a hand.

I have an amazing doctor surgeon.

I might get the use of my hand back over time.

I can still pet my dog.

I still have a voice and can speak.

I have an amazing wife and I get to spend more time with her.

I don’t have cancer.

I don’t have heart disease.

I am receiving amazing outpouring of love and support.

I have an excuse to move the TV into my bedroom and my wife is okay with it.

I get to watch more baseball games.

I have time to go to the zoo. And

My wife loves that too.

The Oakland Athletics exist and are my team.

My dog has no judgment about me, or anything for that matter.

I am moved to reconfigure my life.

I have insurance.

I still have a job.

I can still do my work.

I get to take a break from my job.

I have learned to use voice recognition.

There are medications that can help me feel better.

People donated their bodies to science so my surgeon could learn this procedure.

I still get to go on learning and living

I appreciate life more.

People are praying for me.

I can still hear music, see nature, feel my feelings, touch everything.

I love life even more than I used to before.

I get to read books.

I don’t have too wash dishes as much.

I don’t have to have anything anymore.

I most likely can still play violin and guitar.

I have disability insurance and sick leave if needed.

I have summers off.

I have time to organize my baseball cards.

I have more time to enjoy and be with my granddaughter.

I am moved to plan a cruise.

We are all learning from this challenge.

I love people more.

I still have a living mom and dad who can love me and really feel my pain.

I appreciate life more.

I notice my dog, and pet her more.

I have more time for naps.

I notice I have a really comfortable bed.

Now, doesn’t that feel better and things look a bit different?

By Rick Concoff,  c2013