Perfectionism—An issue for all ages–or 80/20!

I was one of those kids who would be upset that an A- was not an A or A+.  I feel frustrated and annoyed at a 780 credit score, balking at the things that I “got marked down for”.  (780 is a very high score, sufficient for any loan)

I used to get up each morning with the intention of having a “perfect day”, of never saying “the wrong thing”, showing up on time, and doing it all right. When I got home, I asked myself the question “Was I the best and did I do the best I could do today in all situations? How close to perfect was I?” The answer was usually no, as I poured over the few things that I “messed up’ during the day, thus forgetting and ignoring the many, many, right and good things I did that day. One person’s negative comment would overshadow 100 positive comments.

One day, a dear mentor said to me, “Why don’t you try arriving home today, opening your door and asking the question, “Was I human today!?!” This leaves so much more room for success, and mistakes!

So, in my quest for sanity, inner-peace and mental health, I came up with this great affirmation “80/20”. 80/20 is code for “I expect to do about 80% of what I do today well and correctly, and I may do less than well, or just flat out wrong, 20%. 

So when I mess up, I say to myself “80/20” which means,“I acknowledge I made a mistake, I will do what I can to apologize if necessary, own the mistake and make it right.  I will not dwell on it or beat myself up over it.  Some mistakes I will not be able to fix.

I will love myself and others, just the same. I will embrace and bless my imperfections! After all, 80% is a B which is above average. Caution, if you start noticing that your code is becoming 60/40 or 50/50 or worse, it is time to do some inner and practical work!

c. Rick Concoff 2011