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Pay now or pay later; Parenting Advice that Works!
There are a large number of lessons we have to learn from infancy to adulthood in order to make us functional, happy, well-adjusted, self-supporting adults. As a matter of fact, there are hundreds and hundreds, if not thousands. We learn most of these lessons from observation, being taught, or common sense realization. Others, we learn through experiencing consequences to our actions. As children we may be taught the importance of sharing, why we should not hit others, and why we use the toilet and not our pants. As we get older we generally learn things that are reflective of our age and maturity. If the sign says, “walk” but a car is speeding through, don’t walk. Don’t eat random wild mushrooms if you are not a mushroom expert. Don’t take a … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips
Clear Way to Make a Good, Right Decision–Sentiment or Heart; Flip a Coin
Imagine you have a decision to make. It is a difficult decision and one that necessitates mindful attention. The decision is a huge one, one that will take you on a very different path than any other decision. Or, it is a small, but essential, pivotal decision of the moment. Try the following practice. Notice your sentiment. Sentiment is feeling based on emotion, opinion, self-concern, fear, sadness, nostalgia. It has the Latin root word for “feel” in its very fiber. It often starts with “I should…”, “I am afraid…”, “What if…”, “I will miss…”, “I fear..”, “I can’t…”, “I shouldn’t,,” It has lots of “buts” and “ifs”. After you immerse yourself in your sentiment, know that it is not a great basis for a decision. It could cause you to miss a great opportunity. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Featured, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships
Letter to Fathers
Please enjoy this article in Common Ground: An Open Letter to Fathers about Daughters and Men about Emerging Young Women Rick … Read entire article »
Filed under: Common Ground, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips
Back to School Pep Talk–Success Strategies
What kind of student are you? What are your gifts and challenges? Perhaps you are someone who tends to procrastinate, forgets to do your homework, has problems doing well on tests, does assignments but forgets to turn them in, has a reputation for being disruptive in class, is often tardy, can’t remember the assignment. Do you have time-management issues or are plagued by distractions of media, texting or lack of motivation? Is your backpack a disastrous, disorganized mess? Are you sometimes even tempted to cheat or plagiarize, rather than disappoint your parents? Maybe you are a student who is a perfectionist, a chronic worrier, or an over-achiever who is stressed, sleep-challenged and cannot turn it off. Do you have well-intentioned parents with high, sometimes unrealistic expectations, which may frustrate you and cause you … Read entire article »
Filed under: Featured, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips
Success and confidence: Which comes first?
As inspired by a like comment made by Tony La-Russa, Long-time Major League Baseball manager and lawyer I love baseball! I love baseball quotes! I Iove baseball analogies! Baseball is like life, hero one day, goat the next, and yet everyday you reset the score to “0-0”. Tony La-Russa, current Cardinals and past A’s manager gave an interesting interview on the topic of success or confidence, which comes first? In the interview, he suggested that they actually have to be cultivated at the same time to support each other. As it relates to baseball, think of the striving minor league baseball player who is a power-hitter in AAA, coming up to the big leagues and going 0 for 42. When will he get his first hit? Will he break the curse? What will … Read entire article »
Filed under: self confidence
Appreciate, have gratitude and love what you have!
This is a very touching video about gratitude. The title is “Keep Walking”, and here is what she is saying; I want to walk and run using two legs, I want to hold hands and hug using two hands, It’s an easy thing that everybody does, It’s nothing complicated, Though, I can’t do it. But…. I can believe this, right? That someday, Happiness would come upon the people who are trying hard. Keep walking with my heart, Keep walking with my soul, I will do this, So everybody, please keep walking without giving up. I want to walk and run using two legs, I want to hold hands and hug using two hands, It’s mortifying, my thoughts are filled with tears, I’m mad at myself for not being able to accept it. It’s too hard. But…. I can believe this, right? That someday, I can feel glad that I was born, If … Read entire article »
Filed under: gratitude
Inflicting Our Past on Others; Trying to Change Others; Changing Ourselves
Years ago I read a fantastic book entitled “The Drama of the Gifted Child”, by Alice Miller, who deals with many issues including how children cope with and survive child abuse. The lesson I learned from this book, I carry with me each day. You cannot change the past. You can forget it, ignore it, or come to terms with it, and then move forward. Inflicting our Past on Others; Trying to Change Others There is, however, one disturbing way in which some people attempt to change the past. Alice Miller explains that the most damaging and extreme form of “inflicting of the past on others by trying to change it” is when a person who has experienced abuse and mistreatment in their childhood transposes a group of people into “helpless, victimized him/herself” … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice
The Power of the “Relationship Quality Control Checklist”
A number of years ago, I had gotten out of a difficult, dysfunctional relationship which I had freely chosen (for what I now believe are the lessons I needed to learn). Those lessons have put me in a fantastic place today, and I am grateful for that journey. When I entered past relationships (“significant-other” types) I did not ask the right questions of myself pertinent to the values, views, attitudes, disposition, temperament, religious issues, political views, social behaviors, social habits, and many other issues related to happiness and success of the relationship. In past times, once I became attracted to the individual and entered the relationship (often because the person “wanted to be with me”), I became blinded towards my needs, values and moreover BOUNDARIES. I moved into a place of becoming … Read entire article »
Filed under: Relationships
Summer Camp Gives Many Gifts for Kids!
Enjoy this article from Common Ground about the benefits of summer camp. … Read entire article »
Filed under: Common Ground, parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips, summer camp
Discipline—Can only Come From Anger, Control or Love
Disciplining a child can come from only 3 places; anger, control, or love. If you have parented, grand-parented, babysat, or been a teacher or caretaker for a child, you know that feeling of utter exhaustion, overwhelm, and eventual meltdown that makes the textbook parent into someone they themselves don’t recognize… screaming, saying unkind works, being too wrapped up in being “right”, wanting to hurt the other, even those we love the most! We have all been there either in our mind, or our reactions. Here is some seasoned advice: When your child is out-of-line, breaks and agreement, breaks a rule, taunts you, hurts you or someone else, first, PAUSE ……. —Feel your anger. Own your anger. Experience your anger. —Feel your self-control. Love your control —PAUSE……………………………… —Wait until the anger and control morph into love. Then … Read entire article »
Filed under: parenting advice, parenting tips