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Effective Parenting and Exhaustion–Part 2

Now that you have taken the first step toward effective parenting and you have someone you can talk to, take the second step towards effective parenting. Decide what is working and what isn’t.  Then choose one thing that isn’t working.  Let’s say it is the morning that is the biggest problem. Bring your family together (make sure your partner is on board).  Do this after dinner the night before.  Let them know what the drill will be in the morning, what the tasks will be and when the “bus leaves”. Make sure each child knows his/her tasks and has them in writing.  Give the kids one wakeup call at the time you think is appropriate, and let them know they will get only one wakeup call.  Do not micromanage them, although you … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting tips

Feel Powerless in Parenting Your Teens?

What do I do if I have given up all of my parental authority to my kids and feel powerless? Your kids have you programmed.  They know exactly how many times to ignore you before you get upset and lose it.  You are constantly spending time trying to figure out how to say things to your kids without upsetting them.  You are intimidated by the fear that your child will “melt down” and throw a fit.  You find yourself apologizing for parenting your own teen.  You are worried that your child will stop loving you. You’re arguing with your parenting partner about how to parent teens.  You are stepping down to their level, yelling, crying and even swearing at them.  They do what they want when they want, and you are … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting help, parenting teens, parenting tips

W.I.M.P? or, What is my part?

Here is some great advice for parenting teens.  You just had an argument with your son   or daughter, or even your father, mother, boss, colleague, teacher, friend, somebody-in-law.  In your mind, it is obvious that you are right, and they are wrong!  There is no question about it.  It is all their fault.  If it wasn’t for them there would not be a problem.  Ask anyone, it will be obvious that I am right.  I am waiting for an apology, this time it is clear, and I am not backing down. Do you recognize this internal conversation?  When parenting teens, it is almost never the total fault of one side.  Occasionally, you are 99.99% right and .01% wrong, but rarely 100%.  If you believe the magical thinking that you can be … Read entire article »

Filed under: parenting advice, parenting teens, parenting tips, Relationships, Uncategorized

Two ways of looking at the world—as inspired by philosopher Martin Buber

We can look at the world as if it is there to serve and benefit us.  Be assertive; be aggressive, dominant and controlling.   We can determine the value of a relationship by how much we get from it.  How much money, professional advancement or prestige can we get from an association with a particular person?  How much attention, adoration, support, and emotional help can we get from someone?  Whether we are dealing in business, personal relationship, service relationship, customer relationship, client relationship or colleague relationship, the person can become a “commodity” or a “consumable” if we are not careful. I have just described what 19th/20th century philosopher Martin Buber characterized as the “I”/“It” relationship. The other is called “I/thou”.  In this kind of relationship, ideally, we can expect that in every person we … Read entire article »

Filed under: Relationships